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Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 1:27 pm
by CaptainDerpster
remove your own ear and replace it w/ the unicorn ear you got

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 10:55 pm
by noobofspades
Sorry for the inconvenience guys, update will be done tomorrow

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 4:16 am
by [MSA]JJohny
ear

Re: jack wars - the last jacques

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:39 pm
by noobofspades
Having recovered from your over-lightspeed journey, you continue your travels
Obviously the most logical step is to investigate the mysterious tower and the priest pope guy that saved your life from the unicron

You don't want to draw any attention from the possible monsters (or the unicron who might still be around) in the woods so you decide to go to the tower sneakily, even if it means slowing you down in the long run
That kind of smart move is exactly what might save your life one day
Cunning increased by 1.

As you get close to the tower, you reach a clearing and find something laying on the ground among the rocks
holy smokes it's the holy cross of jebus!!!!!!!!!!!
what a shocking discovery
Alas, it is quite damaged - it has scratches and cracks all over it
Nevertheless this is a very lucky find and it may come useful in uncovering the mysteries of the tower and finding the priest pope guy

You stop for a bit to rest and decide to contemplate what happened, what's going on, and what is to come.
The secrets of the church, the tower, the unicorn, the trees, the woke, light speed, what does it all mean damnit
when do we find out all this lore
who is the real enemy here
why are we here
just to suffer trying to draw this shit for no reason

The thoughts keep you thin :thinking: king for several hours, and when you emerge from the inner world you feel like a new man, able to consider the true reasons behind your actions like a real man should
Wisdom increased by 2.

You've heard legends that if you cut your ear off with a holy cross of jebus it will do some funny shit but you try doing it and it just leaves a nasty scratchy area on your ear. You feel kind of stupid
At least wearing the cross on your ear makes you look stylish and pious at the same time
who knows what that could affect in the future

Your ears are all intact but you just don't know what to do with the unicron ear you so bravely ripped off
Fortunately, the unicorn's sticky blood is known to also act as a glue and you stick it to your forehead without thinking twice about it. You kind of look like a unicorn now I guess

You look extremely stupid now but stylish and pious at the same time

You continue onwards to the tower which is very close now, ready to face its macabre walls.

https://imgur.com/2iBBgcD - link to full image if you want a close-up


Image

Items:
- Nice hat
- manly tank top
- pants to cover bulging leg muscles
- unicorn ear (x1) (stuck to forehead)
- holy cross of jebus (hanging on right ear)

Status:
- woke (x1)
- fancy mustache (increased length)
- partially blind (right eye)
- divine mandate
- looks (extremely stupid, stylish, pious)

Skills:
Strength: 2
Perception: 0
Magic: 0
Speed: 1
Cunning: 1
Wisdom: 2

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:41 pm
by [MSA]JJohny
use literally anything around you that can work as string to tie it around one ear to stop the bloodflow

Re: jack wars - the last jacques

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:12 pm
by noobofspades
You continue wading through the forest and soon reach the menacing tower.

You pull a little thread from your pants and tie it around your ear which is carrying the holy cross of jebus
Not surprisingly, the bloodflow soon stops and the ear turns red
You're not sure what this achieved but at least it worked as planned
However, you look even more stupid now.

You finally reach the tower. The pope is nowhere to be seen and the bell is silent
It's much bigger than it appeared from far away and its enormous shadow makes you feel like a small insignificant puny worm.
Humility increased by 1.
It's a crude construction with unpolished surfaces and a few balconies on top.

You try to find an entrance at the base but the tower is sealed tight from all sides. The only way to ascend is to climb up.
Thanks to your impressive strength you are able to do this.
You bravely begin scaling the uneven stones sticking out of the wall surface but with each one it seems like the top of the tower gets further and further away. You don't know if you'll manage to finish the climb before passing out.

Suddenly, a portal erupts a few meters away from the tower near the ground level.
It's a surge of dark energy and unexplained power that begins sucking in everything near it.
The portal disappears as quickly as it appeared, but before it does, you notice a leg of an animal, some kind of a horse or something, getting sucked inside it.
Fortunately, you were far enough above it to avoid its sucking reach but whoever that unfortunate thing was is now gone.

You contemplate what just happened and what you could do. At this point, the only reasonable choices are to either climb back down and investigate the area near the now vanished portal, or continue the climb up and put all your dedication and strength to scaling the rest of the wall. However, you understand that if you fall off at this point, you might get injured badly.

link https://imgur.com/iBM18WE
Image

Items:
- Nice hat
- manly tank top
- pants to cover bulging leg muscles
- unicorn ear (x1) (stuck to forehead)
- holy cross of jebus (hanging on right ear)
- cloth thread (tied around right ear)

Status:
- woke (x1)
- fancy mustache (increased length)
- partially blind (right eye)
- divine mandate
- looks (very extremely stupid, stylish, pious)
- read-eared (right ear)

Skills:
Strength: 2
Perception: 0
Magic: 0
Speed: 1
Cunning: 1
Wisdom: 2
Humility: 1

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:44 pm
by nuclearpotato
let go of the tower, teleport to vegas and start gambling using goats instead of money

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 4:29 pm
by [MSA]JJohny
let go of the tower, teleport of vegas and go to five tops casino to confront benny

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 2:17 pm
by noobofspades
Currently I'm waiting for more posts, preferably more well-thought out ones

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 11:30 pm
by Zekamalikyd
let go of the tower, teleport to new vegas and die to a deathclaw

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 11:42 pm
by potifi
look at the wall and realize how insignificant you are if you take into consideration all of the universe and have a mental breakdown

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 5:23 pm
by [MSA]JJohny
close jack

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 3:05 pm
by noobofspades
this thread will be on hold for a while, I'll be working on other things for now but I will return here eventually

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:19 pm
by noobofspades
so who wants this to return

Re: jack wars - the last jack

Posted: Sun Mar 31, 2024 2:41 pm
by janebisping
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