jack

127 posts Page 5 of 9
kmaj
3 Years of Ace of Spades
3 Years of Ace of Spades
Posts: 1263
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:54 pm


Conveniently switch sides.
noobofspades
Deuced Up
Posts: 383
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:57 am


Suddenly some cat pops up above the battleground and announces that if you are to participate in this battle fairly you need to have the same powers. You reluctantly accept his offer, but unfortunately, as he begins transforming you into a witch (not witcher™) you realize that he's also switched your gender. You have become a 15 year old anime girl with mystical powers that can do who knows what. You're ugly as fuck though and like any teenage bitch you feel depressed and just want to kys and stop this story from continuing.

Image
Status updated: Biexistential (humanoid - Jakkumesu, shit)
Got item: Magic wand
Got item: Witch hat

Being ugly as you are shitty you decide that it would be more fitting to join the other hideous witches and destroy the other weeb. The cat conveniently disappears and a swarm of vultures begin circling the field. Meanwhile some citizens watch the scene from their houses.

Image

Current items:
- iPhone (Internet access available, Facebook account, Emo page co-adminned with potifi)
- Cowboy hat (equipped)
- Cowboy clothing (equipped)
- Magic wand (equipped, unknown properties)
- Witch hat (equipped, unknown properties)
Current status:
- Biexistential (humanoid - Jackumesu, shit)
- Ugly as fuck
- Witch
- Advanced Philosophy
- Neutral Gayness
- One case of manslaughter
- Left cowboy James for dead (x2)
Last edited by noobofspades on Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
Shia LaBeouf
Deuced Up
Posts: 271
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:59 pm


turn back into jack
kmaj
3 Years of Ace of Spades
3 Years of Ace of Spades
Posts: 1263
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:54 pm


Bodyslam cannibal Shia LaBeouf.
nuclearpotato
Build and Shoot's 1st Birthday
Build and Shoot's 1st Birthday
Posts: 178
Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:46 pm


do a niggaflip (google it)
noobofspades
Deuced Up
Posts: 383
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:57 am


You're so pissed at your current state that you can't even
You thrust your magic wand into the sky and mutter some wizardly words. The magic powers fill the area with cool visual effects, and you feel your new mammary glands bursting and disappearing, followed by tightening in your pants. You also feel your eyes returning to a more or less normal size and you look overall less like a faggot.
Your magic witch hat is consumed in the process.
Lost item: Witch hat

Image

At last, the shitty essence that you were made of trickles down your legs and collects into a fetid pool. All that's left of your previous biexistential form is a strongly tanned skin color.
Status updated: Humanoid (Jack)
Your transformation did not come without a price, however. As you are now human again, you feel overcome with primitive urges and desires for violence as you are not accustomed to this existence yet. After briefly browsing your surroundings with your bloodshot eyes, you leap into the air with inconceivable might, howling like a rabid dog. Realizing they are about to be flattened by your powerful slam, the witches teleport away from this world.
While falling, your cowboy hat falls off and is carried away by the wind.
Lost item: Cowboy hat

Image

The shockwaves from your bodyslam have severely damaged some of the buildings in Los Vagos and the townsfolk are coming out with pitchforks and torches to put you down like the beast you are.
For reasons unknown, you take out your phone and google "niggaflip". You are not impressed with the results.

Image

Current items:
- iPhone (Internet access available, Facebook account, Emo page co-adminned with potifi)
- Cowboy clothing (equipped)
- Magic wand (equipped, incomprehensible properties)
Current status:
- Humanoid (Jack)
- Advanced Philosophy/Primitive Urges
- Neutral Gayness
- One case of manslaughter
- Left cowboy James for dead (x2)
- Untamed, aggressive and fast
- Unimpressed
Last edited by noobofspades on Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Shia LaBeouf
Deuced Up
Posts: 271
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:59 pm


SOME *knock down a toilet door* BODY ONCE TOLD ME
kmaj
3 Years of Ace of Spades
3 Years of Ace of Spades
Posts: 1263
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:54 pm


THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME
VideoGame
Deuced Up
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:32 am


i aint sharpest tool in shed the the
nuclearpotato
Build and Shoot's 1st Birthday
Build and Shoot's 1st Birthday
Posts: 178
Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:46 pm


burn the faggot flag for the skeleton king
Shia LaBeouf
Deuced Up
Posts: 271
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:59 pm


steal 4 pitchforks and become one of them
noobofspades
Deuced Up
Posts: 383
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:57 am


You start flailing your arms and legs around trying to kick down an invisible door but you achieve nothing except confusing the townsfolk.
Your insane convulsions have helped you gain some time and now the torches have gone out.

Image

Your autismal moves give you the element of surprise you need to waltz inbetween the protesters and sneakily snatch 4 pitchforks (not the sharpest ones, though) which you either fit onto yourself or wield with your hands. Meanwhile one of the villagers burns a rainbow flag, probably thinking that your unmanly type of dancing is a weapon of the gay agenda.

Got item: Pitchfork (x4)
Image

You now stand battle-ready and the townsfolk snap out of their confusion, bent on punishing you for tricking them and ruining their town.

Image

Current items:
- iPhone (Internet access available, Facebook account, Emo page co-adminned with potifi)
- Cowboy clothing (equipped)
- Magic wand (equipped, incomprehensible properties)
- Pitchfork (x4) (equipped, dull)
Current status:
- Humanoid (Jack)
- Advanced Philosophy/Primitive Urges
- Neutral Gayness
- One case of manslaughter
- Left cowboy James for dead (x2)
- Untamed, aggressive and fast
Shia LaBeouf
Deuced Up
Posts: 271
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:59 pm


scare away the folks and proceed to obtain a wheelbarrow in a sudden and bizzare event involving a ginger goth loli catgirl with twintails
kmaj
3 Years of Ace of Spades
3 Years of Ace of Spades
Posts: 1263
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:54 pm


The same, but no twintails.
Shia LaBeouf
Deuced Up
Posts: 271
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:59 pm


gee bill

two wheelbarrows?
127 posts Page 5 of 9
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